How to hold chopsticks PROPERLY (Part 1)

OK, I have seen many people, adults to children all hold chopsticks. I have good news and bad news.
The good news: Yay! We have more people holding chopsticks as utensils! The bad news: They are holding it incorrectly. I'm like, What the rice are you doing?! You supposed to be using them correctly! and then, they're like "No I'm not." Sheesh! I'm trying to teach you people how to hold chopsticks properly!
The correct way is actually very very easy. First, you hold them together standing straightly on the table. Second, curve your hand into a letter C around the middle of the chopsticks. Third, make your hands stretch over to the other side (If, you understand what I mean.) If it works, Good job for you! If it does not, you have some mental issues. (Advice: see a psychologist or something) Remember, chopsticks should be used properly. Do not hold them like a pitchfork to stab your chicken leg with. It will hurt the chopsticks because they will feel very very sad that they may never ever see their mothers and fathers ever again. (Sniff...) What would you feel if you were banged into a slimy icky piece of meat and that gigantic hands are wrapping around your chest? Yup. Exactly. This is why you must hold chopsticks correctly or else I will come and give you a good spanking on your knuckles. (Sigh...) Nowadays, parents just send their children to their rooms or say something like: "You're grounded! No Video Games for two hours!" and you're like:"But Mom! I won't be able to get that limited time only legendary armor that can defeat the ultimate Boss!" And then mom's like: "Oh fine!) I should have a meeting with the Prime Minister of Canada to see if he'd allow the system of spanking back in Canada! Ha ha!
(Assignment: Practice holding chopsticks! Practice makes Perfect!, and practicing with chopsticks is FREE!)

The 12 days of Asia

Let us go into Christmas Spirit! (Try singing it!)


1.On the first day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -A big bowl of rice with tea!

2.On the second day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   -A big bowl of rice with tea!

3.On the third day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

4.On the fourth day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

5.On the fifth day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

6.On the sixth day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

7.On the seventh day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

8.On the eighth day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Eight crunchy Spring Rolls,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

9.On the ninth day of Asia,
   my waiter gave to me,
   -Nine pots of Ramen,
   -Eight crunchy Spring Rolls,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

10.On the tenth day of Asia,
     my waiter gave to me,
   -Ten plates of Bok Choy,
   -Nine pots of Ramen,
   -Eight crunchy Spring Rolls,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

11.On the eleventh day of Asia,
     my waiter gave to me,
   -Eleven tasty Egg Tarts,
   -Ten plates of Bok Choy,
   -Nine pots of Ramen,
   -Eight crunchy Spring Rolls,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!

12.On the twelfth day of Asia,
     my waiter gave to me,
   -Twelve Fortune Cookies,
   -Eleven tasty Egg Tarts,
   -Ten plates of Bok Choy,
   -Nine pots of Ramen,
   -Eight crunchy Spring Rolls,
   -Seven crates of Kim Chi,
   -Six chunks of Tofu,
   -Five Fried Dumplings!
   -Four packs of Sushi,
   -Three Moon Cakes,
   -Two Instant noodles &
   - A big bowl of rice with tea!









   




   

What rice tastes good with, part 2

Everyday, when I get home, I smell the delicious aroma of, you guessed it, RICE! When I eat rice, it is optional to eat rice with chopsticks, but as I suggest, it is MANDATORY to eat rice with chopsticks. It is the proper way to eat rice.
While eating rice, please feel free (Ha! see how all that ties together?) to take any Kim Chi, Bok Choy, Dumpling, Steamed Bun, Tofu, Sushi, Spring Roll, or any other type of Dim Sum on the table. (It's better for the food to be on the plate, but if it drops on the ground, I guess its okay to eat, just blow on it for a few seconds, since I was taught not to waste food or else it would be a waste of money; Source: Personal Experience.) And remember, when you are eating rice in your home or at a Chinese restaurant, remember, to take as much as you want because it is Free! (You're parents are paying though.)
(Hint, if they have Fortune Cookies, take as much as you want, cause they are also FREE!)

What rice tastes good with, part 1

Hmmm... As we all know, rice tastes really good with fried fish sticks, chicken, duck, vegetables, and other types of delicious Dim sum from Spring Rolls to Dumplings, to Rice-balls!
Another thing that makes rice unique is that it tasted pretty bad with only one piece of rice, so what do you know? You must eat a "bowl" of rice. Every time you eat rice, make sure to eat at least one bowl of rice. You got that?! One bowl of rice!!

Introduction to rice

Rice, no matter how you say it. Rice. The main ingredient to every Asian's meal. Rice. No matter how you say it. Rice. Welcome to the world where rice is everywhere!